Confused

Well i don't really know what to say but i felt god pulling my to this blog to write something but i have no idea what.I just got back from a leadership weekend to supposedly learn how to stand up for god and be an evangelist to all the young people.And yes it did help me in some ways but it also confused me. Because for the past several month I've been trying to maintain my spiritual walk while trying to talk to other people about it at the same time , while also juggling school friends who don't look out for my best interest but are good guys who are lost. I feel like god lead me to them for a reason. Wanting to lead them and then go on with them to change the world as just a group of guys trying to chase god. But it turns out a lot harder to try and get some one to maintain in there walk when as their leader not being any better than they were before I met them so in that since kind of dragging them back down and then we just fall into a group of punks that do stupid stuff and get in trouble.So I've got to think to my self hey how can i maintain my walk while also trying to lead as a good example for them. I guess what I'm saying is i need to step up and be a mighty man of god and quit sanding back when i see one of my friends messing up. Hold them accountable so maybe they will follow my example and hold me accountable when they see me mess up but I'm going through such a battle that sometimes my flesh wins and I fall so hard and do something so wrong that it would be so much easier to give up and just lay there and I do that's the problem till I go some where like Saturday nights or Wednesday night to kind of get a refill and get back up.I don't know how to further my journey but i need to find a good mentor that will one on one with me and help me or something of that sort.I am so confused.Please respond with any advise or comments I really need some help